I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
two words...techno handjob
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
