Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
