I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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