whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
