You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
