What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize