You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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