I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
