you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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