i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
