Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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