hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
