wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize