Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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