omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
