i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
