matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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