You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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