I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
