Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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