P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
