oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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