atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
