if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
