I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
