dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
