Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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