Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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