I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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