i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
