And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
