There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
