It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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