I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
