There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
