it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
