I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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