I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
