Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
