Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
