im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
