I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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