i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
