I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Congratulations! We have a period
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize