Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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