Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
