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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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