I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
