Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
