is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize