How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize