So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
