I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
