i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
