Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
